It Isn't Like Sex & the City...It's more Like a Highway...or some metaphor like that

Carrie. Charlotte. Miranda. Samantha. Four fabulous New York women, leading busy lives, yet find the time to get together at that all-familiar diner. The show focuses on each, in their own way, finding love (or lust), while maintaining a very strong friendship. Though the series ended a couple of years ago, it still captivates me, and I can't help but plop down and watch how in this episode they manage to accept, tolerate, hate, or love the romantic situation their friend is in.

You see, when I watch the show, I try to get some real tips in how to handle, interact, cope, maybe even avoid friends in relationships (if they're in unhealthy ones). In one particular episode, Carrie and Miranda are perusing through clothes at an outside vendor, and Carrie tells Miranda that she's back together with Big. (Big is the proverbial playboy, the off-and-on again boyfriend of Carrie Bradshaw.) Miranda scoffs, and says, "I don't want to hear when he hurts you again. I don't want to know anything about it. I am not going to be the you you come running to crying." (Something like that.) The two get into an argument/tiff about this. But how badly I've wanted to be as gusty as Miranda! And tell it like it is! And, as only HBO writers can do, in one hour, Miranda and Carrie manage to sort out their problems, and Miranda and Carrie are A-Okay.

BUT...STOP RIGHT HERE!

All right, so I can't compare my life to a TV show. Now I view friendships as being more like a highway...like US 1, or I-10 if you will. More specifically, I'm beginning to see friendships like taking a long road-trip down one of these highways.

Let's say you start your journey with 3 other friends. You initially have the same goals, to get to the same destination, so to speak. You're excited about it all, excited to be together and bask in the experience it will become. But, ahhh, the highway. The highway will test your friendship and will offer hard lessons you never saw coming. But it's not all bad...at first. During the road-trip there will lots of laughs, many stops that you share in and make memories from. There will be times when it will be silent, and this is still good at the beginning. These are one of those silent times where you don't have to share a word with one another and it's the best kind of noise out there.

However, certain things begin to happen. All of a sudden your destinations get fuzzy. Some want to go here, some want there. And so it appears that the friendship starts to shift, and you want to go off into different directions. What happens? You all begin to take seperate "exits." And, once you've exited, you begin to make a new life out of the "exits" you take. These exits---some of them great, some of them not so. It's these "exits" that drive us to change the way we interact with our friends, change frequency of when we want to visit them or when we want to see them, change the way we perceive them, etc. Unfortunately, these "exits" we take are some of hardest lessons we learn from the highway of friendship. The silver lining, however, or that I hope is there, is that one day, if one of us, or all of us, decide to meet up again on that highway, there will be some road leading back to it. Some of us come back, and at times there might be 2 or 3 of us on it. Hopefully, one day, we will all find ourselves back on it together...to pull ourselves away from the "exit" life we made (even if it's for a little while) and just enjoy each other again...

What I've Learned in My 25 Years of Life

Being that I've finished my 25th year of life, I thought perhaps I would get all philosophical, mushy, or just plain blabbery (I know, not a word, but I've learned [in my 25 years of life] you can make up words!) about what I have learned about *LIFE*. And wouldn't you know it, there's 25 of them:) Now then....

I've learned...

1) to always say "I love you" to those you love before you hang up the phone or say good-bye

2) to always wash your hands when you go to the bathroom...or after some germ-raising activity

3) that you never really learn to appreciate your parents and all they've done for you till after you've moved away

4) that “Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over.”

5) that the minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.

6) some of the best things in life are worth waiting for, and others you should go for right then and there

7) failure is a second chance to do something better

8) your imagination is one of the most powerful things you can possess (hence why I am still afraid of the dark!)

9) adopting a pet and loving them gives you the warmest, fuzziest feeling in your heart

10) teachers are sometimes the only stable adult in a child's life

11) if you want that piece of cake or candy, go for it!

12) that you should also counter that (see #11) with regular exercise, so that #11 is okay :)

13) listening is one of the best things you can do for someone

14) sometimes the worst things happen for the best reasons (this was from Fran!)

16) that my favorite people to be around are children and the elderly

17) water is probably the best thing for you, so bump out the sodas, teas, and sugared juices once in a while

18) carbohydrates and salt are my weakness, and so far they are winning the battle

19) it's amazing to know that I will see my loved ones who've passed on in Heaven because it's Jesus's gift to us. And such a comfort that is!

20) buying things on sale, and even better, clearance, is awesome!

21) to never be the smartest person in the room

22) manners, like saying "Please, thank-you, your welcome, and excuse me (please)" go a long way

23) finding the perfect pair of jeans can make you feel like you've got the sexiest butt in the room

24) being girly is totally okay, so bring on the flowers, ribbons, and bows

25) "Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves." 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7


***25) the best is yet to come.


*** I had to add, so think of it as 25b

DAUGHTER

“Loving a child doesn't mean giving in to all his whims; to love him is to bring out the best in him, to teach him to love what is difficult.”- Nadia Boulanger 

Perhaps it's natural that I start with this.  After all, I was a daughter before the other three.  

I'm writing this post in the old bedroom of my parent's place.  Two over-sized cabinets, one with several of the drawers misaligned with the tracks.  The entertainment center bearing years of childhood books, a karaoke set, and trophies accumulated from my school years. 

Ah, and my old bed.  The one with the withered old yellow painted  headboard.  With every slight movement came a big squeak and creak. Certainly not like the king sized bed sans squeaking and creaking I slumber on nowadays. 

It's strange how my parents are my parents, yet I see them in a different light.  Everytime I come back here I remember how I asked them permission to do just about everything and hoped they would say yes.  

Or how back in the day whenever Brad would come over, he'd have to sit on the chair or on the floor if I was on the bed.  Never would we be allowed on the bed together. Oh, and door OPEN. This enabled quick viewing when someone passed by in the hallway to make sure we remained virtuous. 

Or how I felt I didn't get to do what most kids my age got to do---go to parties, go on trips, stay out late, go places unaccompanied without my brother or my grandmother.  Oh, how college was my reprieve for this! (College in another town.)

But now, I come and go with a new feeling (and still some old feelings) when I visit.  I can leave with the boy I fell in love with 8 years ago and go home with him.  Although when we do watch TV in my old bedroom we STILL don't sit on the same piece of furniture! (Not because it's still necessary,but rather  for old times sake.) I can travel whenever I want (finances allowing), go to a party and stay up late, go places with whomever I choose.

And so, I look at my parents sitting there watching their daily dose of PBS specials on the television or Dad sitting at the computer or feeding one of their 4 stray cats thinking: how they raised me has enabled me to be as free as I am today.  I don't say that with malice or ill feelings either.  Actually, it's with much thanks.  I don't think I would be where I am without their aid, their discipline, their expectations (at times impossible), their cultural-influenced way of raising me. 

 It's with these that has enabled me to steer clear of going down a dark path, doing things that I'd regret, graduate not once but twice with graduate college degree, begin the career of my calling, marry the love of my life with no hesitation, and build a home and future that would have been a lot more difficult had they not been like they had with me. 

If you were to ask me a few years ago if I  had a lot of freedom, I'd probably say "Hell no." But today, I would say, "Definitely yes." And much of it I owe to them. The truth is, I was never not free.  It was that they held it close, guarded it, and knew that when the time came I would know what to do with it and use it. And today, it has made all the difference. 

Much thanks and affection to my mother, father, and my beloved grandmother.

So it Begins

Here goes...

It's uncertain what this blog will become.  I suppose only in hindsight will I know what has unfolded of my little pieces of writing, rantings, ramblings, anecdotes, epiphanies, et cetera. 

I've always wanted to "blog." In the past, my failed attempts left me with diary entries that were all over the place.

So, hopefully there'll be happenings or awakenings that will occur that will really be worth writing about. 

I have chosen to title this blog to what I hope it will become---entries from the perspectives that encompass me.  One day I may write specifically about being a daughter, the next about something I've learned being a wife.  Who knows, but,YOU'RE invited.