"I Love You"

Dear Liam,

The first time I heard you say those words to me, I about melted into an absolute mush.  When you were a little baby and couldn't talk yet, you would like at me sometimes, and I'd wonder if certain "looks" were to tell me that you loved me.  I somehow thought that it was what you'd be trying to say. It's even more heavenly hearing you say it aloud.

When I was little, the phrase, "I love you" was seldom, if ever said, around our house.  I knew I was loved and they showed it (That's important, too).  However, it was just not verbally spoken.  It may have been the fact we come from an Asian background, where emotions and feeling were kept to oneself. I remember hearing it and yearning to say it, but there was an awkwardness and fear to say it out loud.  My grandma (We called her "Mama."), who I loved so much, was one of the first people I wanted to really say it to, but even I had difficulty.  But eventually, I did, and it felt so good to say it!


Your daddy is responsible for the "I love you's" that come out of my mouth.  He has taught me the importance of letting others know how much you care for them out loud. Your dad always tells me  he loves me and you.  He's taught me that "I love you" is an unconditional feeling.  That is, even when we are in a bad mood, or even if I am mad, "I love you" is still said because through it all, we still love each other.

It may be that you're busy, being a typical 2 year old, or you're in a mood, but sometimes when we ask you to say "I love you," you are stingy. Other times you are abundant in your proclamations of "I love you." Either way, I want you know that "I love  you's" are unconditional.  No matter how mad, grumpy, or sour mood we are in, I promise that my love for you will always be there.  You will hear it in the best of times, happiest of times, angriest of times, saddest of times, and every time in between.  My hope is that you realize that we will love you always and are proud to have you hear it.

So, remember to always tell those you care for "I love you."  It is one of the greatest things you can say, and something you should share abundantly, unconditionally.

I love you,
Mommy

Dear Liam 2013

Dear Liam,

It is a brand new year!  Another year is here that I have the privilege and honor of being your mommy! Every stage is better than the last, although I still wish at times you were the little baby I could hold in my arms, put little newborn mittens on,  or see in your crib, butt in the air, asleep.

I am in awe of how smart and verbal you are.  Your dad and I were just talking in the car tonight about how well you plot out your escapes from nap, or how you articulate your wants and needs.  I love your questions, "What you doing?" "What are we doing here?" "What time is it?" "Where are my sunglasses?" or how you proudly exclaim, "I'm mad! My paper tore!" "Oh look! I have a new hammer, a new screwdriver!" I love your responses to my own questions, like, "Not right now." "Yes, exactly." (We even laughed when Tu-Tu tried to get you to sing The Itsy Bitsy Spider, so she sang first, but then you shouted, "Stop that music!")  There are some vocabulary words that you know that absolutely astound me!  I have no idea when or how you learned it.  But we've realized that you sometimes only need one incident to remember a word.  I could go on and on about the phrases.  What they say is true, your brain is such a sponge right now, and it's so fun to have a conversation with a two-year old. You bring the kid in me.  I love it.  You're dad does the same thing, and it's a lot of fun!

Unfortunately, for the past 4 months, you have had rounds and rounds of sickies.  You started pre-school in late August. And, although you only go two days a week, you seem to get sick just about every week or every other week.  It doesn't get easier seeing my little darling sick than when you were little.  It breaks my heart to hear you cough at night, and since you can use words, it's hard to hear, "Help me, Mommy.  It hurts."  I have to keep reminding myself that you're building your immune system and that you are learning SO much from going to school. Also, Mommy and Daddy are getting their share of daycare germs from you, and thus we have been battling our own sickies all this time!

Your grandparents, as I've predicted, are still incredibly in love with you.  I think even more so.  You charm so many that meet you, and you're hard not to love:) Mommy and Daddy don't have to try hard to squeeze in a date night when one set of grandparents are almost always ready to watch and babysit you.

As sweet and loving as you are, you are not without your tantrums.  You definitely know when to test us, but luckily you are good about accepting time-outs and understanding why we had to put you there.

Baby boy, I didn't think I could love you more, but I do.  Every day, every moment, every laugh, every tear, every snuggle, and every tantrum is a tremendous gift.  There's not a day that goes by that I don't thank God for the miracle that is you, Liam.  I thank Him for every smile and every meltdown.  I thank Him for allowing me to be your mother and His mercy to allow us your life on Earth with us.

Some people have asked if we're going to have a sibling for you...that remains to be unknown.  I do not know if I am ready to share you yet, but if or when that time comes, I know my love will only grow tenfold.  Right now, I am basking in the blessing of having you in my life.  You are the most precious thing to your dad and I.  We will always love you.  We are so proud.

Love,

Liam in December of 2012 riding front seat of a fire truck

Mommy